What I learned about happiness is that nobody can make you happy, it's an ability, a skill to have and cultivate.

 

This is not how we look at it usually. Often, we need our partner to say or do something to make us happy. We need that promotion, vacation, purse or phone call to experience joy and excitement. Often, it is a problem that needs to get solved and we feel happy.

 

We always need something from the outside... And this is what makes experiencing happiness and joy so dependable and doubtful. This is what makes it short lived, superficial and conditional. When your state of joy depends on external factors, you have no control over it. 

 

Of course we're happy when we get a bonus at work or our partner takes us out for an adventure to enjoy. There is nothing wrong with that, it's natural and obvious.

 

However, if this is the only time we feel that way, then we will constantly need something... and our happiness is conditional. It looks like that:

 

If [blank] happens, then I'm happy.

 

There is another way of looking at it. 

 

Develop an inner gratitude for everything you experience, do and have, and learn to shift your mental focus to what you're grateful for.  

 

These are not just words.. and you may say it's easier said than done...

 

However, being aware that it's a skill to develop. Like any other skill you have developed in your life, like riding a bike, reading, writing, driving and so many others - you only get better when you practice it :)

 

The key here is PRACTICE - which is totally your choice!

 

Not feeling like this is working for you just means, not enough practice or lack of commitment.

 

It is so empowering to know that you're able to feel happy any time you choose to.  

 

Just shift your mental focus to something you're grateful for, something you know you didn't do anything to have. Something that is bigger than your situation. Something that is working for you regardless of what you've done... like your breath for example, your heart, your fingers and other parts of your body that you could only tell the difference if something happened to them. 

 

The big idea here is that you can be happy if you choose by practicing gratitude and awareness.

The awareness of how many things have been gifted to you and the various ways you can value  and appreciate that. Think about the people in your life, your children, your home, your family, work, doctor, car, street you live on, colleagues, your clothes and shoes, food, etc. It is an endless list, do you agree? 

The potential of joy and happiness in our life is abundant and truly endless - the practice of gratitude and awareness is the limiting factor. I hope you get it.

Now, go and don't ever stop practicing!

With much love,

Irina